Thursday headline: Ist dis nicht ein alias?

      Surely we can do better than the headline writers at the Times-News in Twin Falls. They wrote:
     "Man charged with DUI, Eluding, in March Crash"
      All true. The story starts with a call to police about a man stumbling about, trying to buy gas. Police arrived and tried to talk to him, asking if he had had a few. The man drove off, passed a semi over a double yellow line and nearly got hit by another one before crashing into a tree about a mile from where the cops first approached him. Reporter Alison Gene Smith says police wrote that the man, who said he was on probation, told officers he had been drinking "some kind of wine."
      My favorite part of the story is how the man identified himself to police before taking off.
     "I also asked him what his name was," an officer wrote in the police report. "He told me his name was John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt."
     A tough one. Maybe this?
     Hope this isn't your name, too
     You have to know the lyrics to the children's song for that to make any sense. Same with this one:
     Maybe this guy should not go out so much
     Maybe this:
     "Some kind of wine" gives man a new ID
  
     If you can do better, please add in a comment or email to me at jbsaul@mac.com