Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I have discovered the secret to writing short

April 27, 2011

Editors often fret about how to make reporters write to assigned lengths, which are invariably shorter than what reporters prefer. I am here today (thank God and all your good thoughts) to announce that I have discovered the secret to writing short: pneumonia.

I was diagnosed a week ago yesterday, and the prospect of sitting upright in this chair writing any more than I have to is daunting. For the past three days I have accomplished the remarkable feat of walking around the block once a day, and the immediate effect of each of these outings has been to leave me snoring on the couch.

But the good news is that when I visited Dr. Smyth last Thursday, she did not follow through on her threat to throw me back in the hospital. Rest and the antibiotics have things going in the right direction. So with a few more steps each day, I am hoping to regain my strength sooner rather than later.

If you have suggestions for how I can use the new divot in my head, please let me know. So far I have come up with this use that will return in one small way all the thanks I owe to Nurse Ratchet, I mean, my loving wife, Kathy: When she is eating chips while watching TV, I can rest my head in her lap, kiss her belly button and she can use the divot for the dip for her chips. Beat that.

Be warned: Gruesome photos follow from the days immediately following my surgery on March 29.


3 comments:

  1. Saul, it is so good to see your familiar mug (divot and all) and to "hear" your voice through this post. You look and sound great. And I can't believe you're already walking around the block, given everything you've been through. I hope your recovery continues steadily and that the pneumonia bug goes the way of the tumor.

    I won't try beating the chip-and-dip idea, but I'd be happy to bring some of Manny's salsa. Meanwhile, we're thinking of you every day.

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  2. John -
    It's just grand to read this post by you, see your visage, know that you're giving the boot to the pneumonia invader, and that in this era of reduce, reuse, recycle, reinvent... the divot is stepping to the plate for serving your lovely wife! Another possible TV time divot use may be as a manicure hand soak :)

    From across the pond sending you and Kathy warm thoughts as you continue the healing journey.
    Annie

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  3. Divot? What divot? Don't give it another thought. You're gorgeous again, Mr. John B., and that's the truth! Besides, you can always have a little fun and do a turn from "Young Frankenstein".....
    Dr. Frankenstein to Igor: "You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump."
    Igor: "What hump?"

    and don't forget.... Dr. Frankenstein to Igor: "Damn your eyes!"
    Igor, straight to camera: "Too late!"

    Your fan
    Carole McClosky

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